By: Tyomi Morgan
So you have found out your partner has been cheating on you and you are upset. The first thing that comes to the mind of anyone in this situation is betrayal which turns into anger, sadness and even feelings of revenge. There are countless amounts of people who have acted out of emotional impulses and pursued actions that may have been out of character like busting windows out of cars, burning down houses or sleeping with their partner’s best friend, but instead of getting caught up in your feelings, the best thing to do in a situation like this is to put emotions aside and think logically.
Yes, I understand that it is hard to think logically when the person you have invested so much time into has pretty much undermined you and stabbed you in the back, but acting out in emotions will only make things worse. When you initially hear the information, DON’T REACT, take a moment to think before taking any action. As Evangelist Joyce Myer says “Let your emotions subside before you decide.” You have to decide if you want to be with your partner going forward after hearing this information or if you don’t want to simply let the relationship go.
If you want to be with your partner and work things out, acting out in your emotions in a negative way will only push him or her further away, but if you can sit and think logically about the situation to determine why your partner stepped out of the relationship to cheat in the first place, then the relationship may be able to be salvaged. Even if you don’t want to be with your partner after the infidelity, the best way to end the relationship is with pride and dignity. Fighting or exacting revenge won’t make that person want you any more than what they do in that moment and it won’t solve anything…all it will do is lead you into more drama that could involve the police and cause you to end up with a record and a tarnished reputation.
If you want to remain in the relationship, you have to understand that you play a role in why your partner stepped outside of the relationship to seek attention else where. A happy and whole relationship can not be broken, so you can not blame the outside person for leading your partner astray. Ask yourself, “have I been doing everything possible to make sure my partner is happy?” Sure, there are things that your partner suggests that you don’t want to do, but compromise is a part of every relationship. Try to find a common ground where you both can be happy in the situation. Sit down and have a conversation with your partner and ask him or her why they chose to cheat. This conversation is one that will reveal a lot about your partner and about yourself.
Sometimes the reason your partner cheated isn’t because you didn’t do something or because you’re doing too much of something, sometimes it lies within a personal issue he or she has. In that case, this one on one straight 100% honest conversation will reveal the problems and place them out in the open for you both to work on them together. If the issues are more psychological, then therapy may have to be sought.
In the end, infidelity doesn’t mean the relationship has to end or won’t work. If you can react logically to the situation, pull out the issues, work on them and move forward learning from the experience, then you can move forward with a stronger relationship. Take the ego and emotions out and work out the problems!